


If Hiccups Bring Good Fortune, I Should Be Much Happier Than I Am

by imaginaryinspiration



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Frisk's parents are terrible, Gen, Hiccups, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, attempted drowning, church, kind of, loneliness and boredom, trying to rationalize trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryinspiration/pseuds/imaginaryinspiration
Summary: It starts with a hiccup, then another, and another, and before they know it, Frisk is abandoned and lost.





	If Hiccups Bring Good Fortune, I Should Be Much Happier Than I Am

Your whole body lurched. What? No! Not now!

  


It happened again, and something between a gasp and a squeak erupted from your lips. You had the hiccups. Lovely. And at the most inopportune time! Church. With the old boring pastor that talked about stuff you didn’t understand and you tried to pay attention but his voice was so monotonous and just kept droning on and on and you were really tired.

  


Church was supposed to be quiet. People were supposed to be listening, but there you were, in almost the front row, hiccuping. You were being distracting, and your mom was glaring at you. You tried to whisper an apology but as soon as you opened your mouth you hiccuped again.

  


Your own hands clamped over your mouth before you were fully aware of what happened. That blocked the sound mostly, but now you were shaking. People were looking over at you now.

  


God, you felt as annoying as Jerry.

  


The hiccups wouldn’t stop. This was so embarrassing. You tried holding your breath for a really long time but it still didn’t work. No matter what you tried, it wouldn’t work! You heard snickering from girls behind you. Those girls were always mean and you didn’t like them.

  


You tried to do what you always did when you wished you weren’t in a certain situation. You imagined yourself where you wanted to be. Right now, you just wanted to be in a quiet place. You wanted to sit in the bed of yellow flowers that cushioned your plummet when you Fell. 

  


Just to hiccup in peace. To feel the sunlight from far above. shining on the top of your head and your knees. Man, you just wanted to be Underground again, even if no one was there, except maybe Flowey.

  


Or maybe you could be on the bed of yellow flowers in Waterfall, where you saw Chara’s memories after Undyne cut the bridge you were on.

  


Not even Chara was here now. You were all alone.

  


Maybe you could even imagine yourself on the flowers in Asgore’s throne room, where he wanted to offer you tea and with Toriel’s dusty old throne in the corner. Anywhere other than here, in the church, with the snickers from mean girls and the boring old man and the hiccups. You just wanted to be let alone in some peaceful place.

  


Another hiccup, louder this time. You tried to pray to the big man they talked about here in church. The man the pastor was droning about right now. Please, just stop hiccuping! This man you were trying to pray to right now, they called him Father.

  


The only father you wanted right now was Asgore. His big hugs, his deep hum, his gentle smile. His voice wasn’t boring like the pastor’s, and he would never laugh or get mad at you for hiccuping. Probably. You weren’t sure, even after all this time.

  


You just wanted to be Underground, and you missed the monsters. Your family here was nice, but they were… harsh. That was a way to put it. It wasn’t that they didn’t love you or feed you, in fact, your mom hugged you every day and even gave you ice cream sometimes. She doted on you and braided your hair and your dad let you work with him in the yard and he affectionately slapped your back.

  


That was only half the time, though. Your mom was busy working, and her job was harsh. Since she was a supervisor at a factory, she was used to yelling at people all day and she didn’t really get out of that mode until late at night.

  


Yeah, that made sense.

  


It was also that your mother wanted you to be a quiet ladylike little girl that had long, pretty hair. And your dad wanted you to grow up to be a strong manly man who had muscles and he did everything he could to make you become that. He didn’t like how scrawny you were.

  


Good thing your parents were separated, or else they’d argue about whether you were a girl or a boy. Honestly, though, you wanted to be neither. You were fine just the way you were, not ladylike or manly. You weren’t a boy or a girl. You were just Frisk.

  


Your parents couldn’t see that, and eventually, you gave up trying to change their mind. The thing was, the monsters did respect that. They treated you as Just Frisk and used the pronouns you preferred.

  


You were ripped out of your thoughts with another hiccup. Gosh, shouldn’t service be over by now? How maybe time had passed? Surely at least an hour, but you didn’t have a watch to check. You hiccuped yet again, and just sent your mind to the Underground peacefulness of the yellow flowers! Please, anything to stop you from hiccuping!

  


You tried to distract your mind by thinking of other things. Right now, you were with your mom, and so you were wearing a purple sundress and pigtails. You didn’t hate dresses, but you’d much rather wear a purple romper. You could actually play in shorts. Not that you could do any playing right now, with your hiccups and mother and church.

  


The only thing you liked about this purple dress was that it reminded you of Toriel’s purple tunic. That was something to distract yourself! Toriel! You were wearing something similar to Toriel. You imagined you were Toriel and Toriel had the hiccups and you imagined what she would say. “Oh my, do I have the hiccups? And they are quite violent as well! Oh well, I’m sure they will go away soon!”

  


You looked down at your hands, trying to remember the sign on her dress. What was it called? The Delta Rune. Did you still have the pen in the pocket of your dress you put in last time you wore it because you got it as a handout on the street? You did! You tried to draw the Delta Rune on your hand as well as you remember it. It was on Asgore’s cape, too. In fact, it was all over the Underground, wasn’t it? Seeing the sign comforted you, even as you hiccuped again.

  


**God,** would church  _ever_  end?

  


You realized that you accidentally made a really crappy pun. It reminded you of Sans, always cracking jokes while Papyrus screamed as Toriel responded to Sans, starting a pun war.

  


Accidental puns aside, you really missed the monsters.

  


You’d lived with the monsters for awhile on the Surface, but when your parents came to your door, begging you to come back, saying they missed you and promising they’d changed, you had to go back. Your parents said they loved you, and parents didn’t lie to their children. (you conveniently forgot why you climbed Mt. Ebbot in the first place.)

  


Another hiccup, then another, then another, and oh no what’s happening? Why did you have such a problem with hiccups?

  


The terrible fit made even the pastor pause. Oh no no no! After a while, though, it died down, leaving you blushing madly and panting. You were very embarrassed and your mother was trying to not look as furious as she was.

  


Finally, finally, church ended. Your mom, when leading you out, was gripping your wrist so tight that it hurt. Oh, you were in for it now! But when you got in the car, she seemed to calm down. Instead of going straight home, she drove you to a pharmacy, looking for hiccup medicine. You could still see she was mad, even if she didn’t show it.

  


When she saw the Delta Rune on your hand, however, that internal anger turned very clearly outwards. She was, to say, anything but happy.

  


Big understatement.

  


…At least she was so scary she scared the hiccups right out of you!

  


She exploded, yelling viciously at you about how writing on your hand was a sin and you should go to hell for marking the beautiful skin that she created. 

  


Your mom needed to chill out. This was a pharmacy! Maybe they had chill pills!

  


Needless to say, your mother was causing quite a scene, screaming at you and insulting you and forgetting she wasn’t at her job right now. She was just forgetting you went the employees under her that she bossed around all day. She just forgot it was Sunday, not Monday, that’s all.

  


She really was causing a scene, though. An employee of the pharmacy was trying to calm her down and was about to help you when she picked up lots of pill bottles and products off the shelf and threw them at you. You dodged it, considering how much practice you had Underground, but you weren’t expecting more.

  


It’s not like it hurt that bad, and you didn’t care too much, but it mattered to the employee and the others in the store. He seemed to be really mad at your mom. He was making her angrier, you thought, though, and she pushed him away and made a grab at you. She grabbed your shirt and tried to hit your face. You weren’t really in the best position to dodge, but you leaned away as much as you could and so she just kind of scratched your chin and neck.

  


The employee tore her off of you and was yelling at her. You decided to ignore both of them and picked up the pill bottles your mother threw.

  


You were tired of everyone yelling.

  


You didn’t really mind yelling all that much, but Undyne’s yelling was happy and excited after you made friends with her, just like Papyrus’ was. This yelling was just angry. You just wanted to be outside, away from angry yelling people.

  


Your feet carried you outside, and the only reason you realized was that you heard the bell of the pharmacy door ring. You ran out onto the sidewalk and just sat there, not doing anything.

  


What would Toriel or Sans or Papyrus do in this situation? 

  


Toriel would march right back in there and give your mother a talking to and comfort you with butterscotch-cinnamon pie. Sans would scare the living daylights out of your mother with his empty black sockets and scary voice. Papyrus would probably suggest a puzzle challenge to resolve the conflict and encourage you with his boundless enthusiasm.

  


But you weren’t Toriel, or Papyrus, or Sans. You were Frisk. And Frisk didn’t do anything.

  


You hiccuped again, but this time it was from the tears running down your face and your body trembling. You were crying. Why were you crying?

  


You missed the monsters.

  


“Frisk?” A nervous voice said.

  


Your head snapped up. Alphys! 

  


“Alphys!” You lunged towards her, hugging her with all your strength.

  


“F-Frisk! What are you doing here?”

  


You responded by hugging her tighter. She pulled away and held you at arms’ length, looking seriously into your eyes. She was worried.

  


“S-seriously, Frisk, what’s wrong? Why are you out here a-alone and crying?”

  


Your silence spoke volumes. You shifted your eyes to the side, not wanting to look at Alphys’ worried face. Her hands tightened on your shoulders. You had to do something, before she really freaked out. “I-I…”

  


You started crying harder and it was difficult to speak. Alphys was patient with you, and it was stark how clear the contrast between her and your mother was.

  


“We were j-just gonna t-try to find some o-over the counted medication f-for my hiccups because they w-were really bad. B-but now they went away! I don’t know how!”

  


You both knew how bad an attempt at a subject change that was.

  


“ I d-don’t think hiccups are what made you cry, Frisk.”

  


That was true. “But I also h-hiccup when I cry! It’s just a different type of hiccup!”

  


That try was a little better, you thought, but not good enough. You were saved by a commotion outside the store. The security guards, it looked like, were yelling at your mom to leave, and she stormed to her car and drove off.

  


Did she forget again? About you?

  


Your face fell as you watched the car drive away, and Alphys noticed.

  


“F-Frisk, that was your mom, wasn’t it?”

  


You slowly nodded without looking. Her face turned from sad to horrified to sympathetic to angry. “W-what?! How dare a-a mother do that!”

  


“She was just mad at me for drawing on my hand.” You showed her the Delta Rune and her face softened.

  


“That doesn't excuse a-abandoning you! Frisk, I n-need you to tell me what happened in that store, alright? Please?”

  


You realized Alphys understood you and loved you. She supported you. You relented.

  


“W-well, we were at church and I hiccuped a bunch so she got mad and she took me to the pharmacy to get something to stop them. But then sh-she saw the drawing on- on my hand, and she got  _really mad scary mad_ but that was just because she forgot she wasn’t at her job so that’s why she yelled.”

  


You looked up and absentmindedly wondered. “I didn’t think she threw stuff at her job though…she definitely doesn't punch people…”

  


“Sh-she threw something at you?? And she punched you?!”

  


“Well, it’s not like the pill bottles hit me, at first. And she really only scratched my neck and chin.”

  


Alphys moved to inspect your chin, gently touching it. It was already scabbing over. You didn’t realize your mom had such long nails. Alphys sighed.

  


“W-wait. Frisk, you. Th-that doesn’t excuse anything she did. First, she yelled, then threw things at you, then punched you, and then a-abandoned you!”

  


“She didn’t abandon me! I just ran out because I was tired of all the yelling and that’s why she forgot me! Out of sight, out of mind, right?”

  


It wasn’t like it was the first time, either, but Alphys didn’t need to know that.

  


She sighed. “Frisk, why don’t you come with me while we figure this out? I don’t think you should go home right now.”

  


Home was not safe, is what she meant.

  


“It’s not home! It’s mom’s house. My mom and dad are separated. They have different homes.”

  


“Do you think you could go to your dad’s house now? It doesn’t—“

  


“No! I… can’t go to my dad’s right now. I’m wearing a dress.”

  


“A-and…?”

  


“He’ll, uh, he’ll get mad at me for wearing a dress because he wants me to be a boy. Mom wants me to be a girl.”

  


“What would your f-father do?”

  


“I don’t really know, actually. He’d just be mad. I don’t know how mad.”

  


“How about you walk with me f-for a little while, okay Frisk? We can go to my house for now.”

An opportunity to go to Alphys’ house! “Yes!”

  


You sniffed a bit and began walking with Alphys. You were glad she didn’t push you to talk more. You didn’t think you could talk again for a while. You thought about how lucky you were. You’d been missing the monsters like crazy, and then suddenly at that moment Alphys came along and comforted and loved you. Monsters were so nice, no matter what. You knew for a fact many humans were wonderful and nice, but you’d just had a lot of experiences with bad ones.

  


You glanced at Alphys and smiled, thinking about how nice she and all the monsters were. She loved you and she showed it. Your mom may have loved you, but she didn’t really show it.

  


Oh, stop being an ungrateful spoiled brat!

  


You had made a vow to yourself to do your best to be good for your mom when you got home. Your mom really probably was a wonderful lady, she just wasn’t fit to be a mom and she worked her butt off yelling at people for you.  _She works her butt off yelling at people so she can yell at you,_ your mind told you.

  


Soon enough, you were at Alphys’ house. She unlocked a door and you went in. Undyne was sitting on a sofa in the next room and watching some anime. Without a word, you ran and jumped onto her body, earning an  _umph_ from her.

  


“Undyne!” You yelled with all the excitement of a young child.

  


“Frisk? Frisk! I’ve missed you so much! But what are you doing here?”

  


You looked back at Alphys. She walked over to the couch, sat down, and said: “We need to talk.”

  


She told Undyne everything. You didn’t mind too much since Undyne was your friend, and it’s not like you could have told it again, but you didn’t want her to get mad. She was mad. But she tried not to yell when you asked her not to. You told them that you’d had enough yelling for today.

  


Undyne and Alphys both comforted and hugged you. You didn’t know why you were crying. You tried not to, but you didn’t understand why it was so hard right now to control your tears. It was always so easy to not cry around your mother and father. Maybe because you weren’t in danger if you cried in front of the monsters ( _your true family)._

  


Undyne proposed you all watch some anime to feel better. Everyone agreed. You were snuggled in between Alphys and Undyne on the couch. You watched for a long time and felt your eyes getting heavy. Undyne noticed first,  look down at you and turning the volume down. You were almost asleep when you heard whispering and then felt hands around you. They disappeared and then you felt alone in the dark room with the TV off. But then the hands came back and set a comfortable weight on you. A blanket, you think.

  


You think they went upstairs after they whispered in the other room so more. You caught your name a few times.

  


The next morning, Undyne and Alphys didn’t want you to go back to your mom’s, and they didn’t have any men’s clothing you could wear to your dad’s. Nothing would have fit you, anyway. They suggested you not go to school today, because of everything that happened and you didn’t have any school supplies. So they took you to Toriel’s house. When they opened the door, Sans, Papyrus, and Asgore were there, as well as Toriel. They all ran up to you and you received a very warm welcome.

  


“HUMAN! IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!”

  


“heya kid, long time no see.”

  


“Howdy, young one! Frisk! It has been very long!”

  


“My child! My child, we’ve missed you so much!”

  


You realized you probably should have kept in contact with them after you lived with your parents. With the way they acted, you could tell they had not yet been told what had happened. Maybe you could hold off on that for a little longer?

  


“T-Toriel, we have to tell everyone—“

  


“Can’t it wait? Let’s have tea first!” You interjected, leaving everyone shocked but Asgore quickly agreed.

  


“Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea! We should catch up with everyone!”

  


And so you all had tea, monsters each telling what they’d been up to. You can still fell the tension around Undyne and Alphys as they kept glancing at you. Eventually, everyone noticed the growing tension, and you’re forced to talk.

  


And so you tell most of the story, with Undyne and Alphys interjecting when you leave out the part about your mom throwing things at you and clawing you and the fact that you were crying. Everyone has mixed reactions, but it seems mostly like worry and anger and sympathy. Toriel hugs you very tight and she murmurs promises about never letting go.

  


No one wants you to go home to your mom’s right now, but Toriel agrees to take you shopping so you can get some boy’s clothing to wear to your dad’s. You’re very thankful as well as excited that you’ll be spending time with Toriel. Man, you missed her so much! You told her about how the dress you were wearing right now reminded you of her tunic, and you showed her what you’d drawn on your hand.

  


Her eyes softened towards you, but she pulled you towards the car to take you to the mall. Once you arrived, she took you to the boy’s section of a clothes store. She pulled out what she liked for you and you chose your favorite outfits.

  


When you came out of the changing rooms to model your clothes for her, she laughed and you laughed but then there was an unspoken tension behind hers and there was an awkwardness behind yours because you never planned for anyone to find out about how your parents treated you.

  


Once you decided what to buy, (she wanted you to get as much as you wanted but you didn’t want to take her money so you settled for three outfits) you went and bought them. Since you were planning on going straight to your dad’s, you went into the changing room and put on your favorite of the three. It was a green and black striped shirt and black shorts.

  


You were running back to where Toriel was when— thump— you were knocked down. You looked up to see who you’d run into when you saw your dad’s face. Thankfully, he didn’t look too mad (yet), but he did look pretty annoyed. You don’t think he recognized you yet. When you got up to apologize, though, he did. Thank God you’d changed into your boy clothes. If he’d seen you in your dress, well, you weren’t too keen on finding out.

  


Your dad was not overly violent or anything, but he could be.. unpleasant. He forgot how young and small you were when he wanted to roughhouse with you. Just like all fathers did with their sons, right? He also liked to yell, like your mom. But his yell was less nasty, and not quite mad but like he just wanted to yell for the sake of yelling and he needed to yell at someone and you were that someone.

  


Anyway. When he recognized you he looked surprised, and then angry and he looked around you. You think he was looking for your mother because you were supposed to be with her today. When your dad didn’t see her, he looked at you confusedly. You scrambled up and tried to murmur an excuse and walk away but he grabbed your wrist. You tried to pull away but when you couldn’t, you looked back at him. He didn’t seem too pleased.

  


“What are you doing here?” He forced through gritted teeth.

  


Toriel chose that exact moment to come and start looking for you. When she made eye contact with your dad and then looked at you, he turned to you slowly. He had a smile that looked very forced. His grip on your wrist tightened.

  


No one said anything, it was all quiet and really tense for a moment before your father brushed past Toriel with a death grip on your wrist, clearly upset.

  


“Wait—!”

  


“We’ll talk about this later, young man.” He said in that tone that scared you.

  


“But wait, dad—“

  


“Shut up.”

  


“Dad—“

  


“I said shut the fuck up!” He yelled at you.

  


You shut up. You looked to Toriel for help, hoping she could do something to help you. he yelled out for mall security to come and when they did they tried to reason with your father. He was too angry to keep his cool around other people, as he normally would.

  


Your arm was really hurting as he continued to tighten his grip. His nails were digging into your skin. The security men somehow managed to subdue him and separate him from you, but you didn’t really pay attention to how. Your mind kind of half shut down in these situations. You do know that Toriel was holding you tight and didn’t let go and your dad was being taken into custody for endangering people and hurting you.

  


Toriel had to talk with some other security people. You think it was about you. She was explaining how she was a friend of yours. She couldn’t take you to your dad’s now, either, so she planned on taking you home and you would go to school tomorrow. The security people recommended something to her about talking to the police. She nodded solemnly.

  


She turned to you with a smile and took you back to her home. She explained to you in the car that you needed to tell her what it was like at your parents’ homes and had this happened before, did they hit you, stuff like that. You didn’t want to respond to that. She didn’t press further but you knew this conversation would be picked up later.

  


She dropped you off at her house. No one was home. She said she needed to get some of your things from your parents’. She was adamant that you would not come with her. So there you were, alone at Toriel’s house, feeling like you didn’t quite belong there. It was too quaint, too happy, compared to your previous home life. You thought back to your wishes at the church.

  


To be back in the Underground. You wanted to go in the flowers and play in them and lay in them and  _forcefully shove them in your mouth even though it hurts there’s so much blood it hurts it hurts but you have to—_  

  


Those weren’t your thoughts. But they scared you all the same. Maybe not yellow flowers, then.

  


Toriel’s cozy little house in the Ruins, with butterscotch pie and her soft warmth and love. 

  


You missed that.

  


You needed something to hug. You wished Toriel was here. You looked around her house. It was so similar to her house from before, back in the Underground. Which meant there was kid’s room. You entered, feeling nostalgic and very very lonely. You sat on the bed and looked in the little toy box. There was a toy lamb. You gingerly took it, hugged it, and maybe cried a little into it. Why did bad things always happen to you? You remembered why you climbed Mt. Ebbot now, and you wondered how you ever could have forgotten. Why did you try to go back to your parents, give them a second chance? Why did you think anything would change? Nothing ever changed.

  


  


Toriel walked into a house that seemed empty about an hour later, she panicked, wondering where you had gone. She walked into the kid’s room that she didn’t know why she still had. There she found you, asleep and curled around a lamb plush like it was a lifeline. You had tear streaks on your face. It broke a mother’s heart, to see a child so sad and broken like that.

  


When you woke, there was a slice of still-warm butterscotch-cinnamon pie on the floor. Oh, Toriel, she was so kind. You wished she was your mother. You doubted she would throw things at you or hit you or yell at you or leave you on the side of the road. You don’t think Asgore would force you to lift weights that felt like they weighed more than you.

  


More than anything, you wished that you could be their family and be loved by them. You wished to be loved. That was all you wanted. Why couldn’t life even give you that?

  


Oh but it had, you realized when you glanced back to the love-infused pie. It just wasn’t in the way most kids were loved. If you weren’t going to be loved by your parents, that was okay, because Toriel loved you. And that was enough.

  


When you eventually came out of the room, you were greeted with the same sight as when you first came out of the room in the Ruins. Toriel was sitting in the rocking chair by the fire. You smiled. Toriel looked up to see you and met your smile with one as homely and warm as her fire magic.

  


“Hello, my child! Did you enjoy your pie?”

You nodded your head.

  


…………………………………………………………….

  


  


All your closest friends were in front of you, expectantly waiting. You’d promised that you’d tell them, but now you weren’t feeling so brave. You could barely get the words out. How were you going to tell a long story about your entire childhood?

  


But you needed to try, for them. They loved you. You could do this. 

  


You told them how your mom tried to be nice but she wasn’t very good at it. She yelled at you a lot and she pulled your hair when she was angry (that was most of the time). You told them about how your dad wanted you to be a boy but you weren’t and you couldn’t be strong and manly like he wanted you to be so he got mad and forced you to lift weights over your head and he tried to make you be strong but your muscles refused and so instead it just hurt. You told your friends about how they both yelled a lot and made you cry and you told them about how your mom had abandoned you before and this wasn’t the first time.

  


You told them about how your parents got divorced because of your birth. When you were little and couldn’t take baths by yourself but your mom didn’t want to help and she’d been really mad that day so she “accidentally” left the water on for too long. It filled up over your head and she didn’t help you,  _didn’t help you, you couldn’t breathe_   _couldn’t breathe you were drowning_ but then you found the drain and drained the water.

  


You told them about how once you were old enough to realize what she’d done you guys just never acknowledged it and you never took baths again. You just pretended that your mom was a good mom and that she hadn’t tried to drown you when you were 2 years old.

  


You told them everything, every last little detail, and when you finished you were exhausted. All of the monsters looks about ready to kill someone. Then they all hugged you. Then you all cried together.

  


…………………

  


Your mother and father were both put on trial and arrested for child abuse. Toriel took up the chance to adopt you and it took months and months but then she was your mom and she loved you and you had a family and she made another pie in celebration.

  


You had your own room and it was cozy and warm and when you came out she smiled and set you on her lap. You learned into her soft fur and she read you snail facts and stroked your hair. It wasn’t mentioned by either of you that you were both crying.

  


You finally had a home.

-

 


End file.
